It might take superhuman strength to forgive people who are unrepentant, says RT Kendall. But with God’s help, it is possible
Dr David Instone-Brewer has written an article to say that we are not required to forgive those who have not repented.
David is a competent scholar and always writes thoughtful and compelling articles. I think especially of those which refer to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Indeed, his insights are what led he and I to meet last year, and a friendship was formed. However, I find myself in strong disagreement with his most recent article on forgiveness.
While one’s position should be based on scripture rather than personal experience, I have to say that if I took the view David has taken, my own life would never have changed many years ago. In my darkest hour, when my future was suddenly made bleak owing to unfairness from those I loved, the Romanian pastor Josif Ton, said to me: “RT you must totally forgive them. Until you totally forgive them you will be in chains. Release them and you will be released”.
Nobody had ever talked to me like that. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I had to forgive people who were not in the slightest bit sorry. They felt completely justified in their action toward me. But thankfully I took Josif Ton’s word seriously and it changed my life for the better.
David’s position is this, “God’s pre-emptive promise to forgive us is superhuman, and although some individuals similarly express forgiveness to unrepentant offenders, God doesn’t expect this of us”.
Really?
While I agree that forgiving the unrepentant is indeed superhuman and our Lord sympathises with our human weakness (Hebrews 4:15), he does not bend the rules by letting us off the hook because our offender is unrepentant.
Forgiveness is hard
Neither Jesus nor Paul exempts us from forgiving someone merely because the offender is not repentant. Jesus never says that we must forgive only when they repent. The Lord’s Prayer includes the petition, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who have trespassed against us” (Matthew 6:12). Jesus elaborated on this, “If you don’t forgive others, your Father will not forgive your offenses” (Matthew 6:14-15). There is not a hint that we only forgive them when they have repented.
I find it fairly easy to forgive people when they are truly sorry. It does not take a lot of grace to forgive when people are sorry; it takes a lot of grace to forgive when they are not sorry. There was not the slightest indication that the Roman soldiers were regretful when they crucified Jesus. Yet Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, they do not know what they are doing” (Luke 23:34). Either Jesus meant that or he didn’t. If he meant it, it means he was sincerely asking the Father to forgive them. The same Luke who records this also reported that Jesus said to Peter – knowing that Peter would fall, “But I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail” (Luke 22:32). Jesus’ prayer was answered; Peter was fully restored (John 21:15-17). Furthermore, I expect to see the very people in heaven who nailed Jesus to the cross. An example of Jesus’ answered prayer is revealed when the Roman centurion said right after Jesus had expired, “Truly this man was the Son of God!” (Mark. 15:39).
Neither Jesus nor Paul exempts us from forgiving someone merely because the offender is not repentant
“Forgiveness is a response to repentance”, says Dr. Instone-Brewer. It is absolutely true that we are not justified before God until we believe (Romans 4:5). Moreover, fellowship with the Father is enjoyed only when we confess our sins (1 John 1:9). But never once in the New Testament is our requirement to forgive based upon our offenders having repented first. If we are set free from forgiving those who have hurt us, betrayed us, who wanted to bury us and who live for our demise until they repent, we will go to our graves in bitterness.
I don’t mean to be unfair, but David’s position on this issue is a recipe for an offended person remaining indefinitely in bitterness and unforgiveness. If Josif Ton said to me, “RT you are right to be angry”, it would have been what I hoped he would say. But it would have been a disaster for me spiritually. I was not prepared for his adamant but loving counsel, “You must totally forgive them”.
The Spirit will help us
The good news is we are not actually required to be superhuman in order to forgive the unrepentant. It is carried out by the help of the Holy Spirit. Walking in love and forgiveness comes to those who choose to walk in the Spirit, to those who do not want to grieve the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 4:30-32). Grieving the Spirit, in my opinion, is the easiest thing in the world to do; living not to grieve the Spirit is the greatest challenge I know of. It means being devoid of bitterness and anger and having an unfeigned desire to forgive all who have hurt us – whether or not they are sorry.
A black lady in South Africa made national news some ten years ago when she went to the prison to forgive the white supremist who had butchered her parents. She said that she read a book on total forgiveness that made her want to forgive this evil man. She did not wait for him to repent.
Joseph forgave his brothers who at one time were prepared to kill him and who never repented (Genesis 45:1-8). Stephen prayed for those stoning him, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60), when his Jewish persecutors were the polar opposite to having repented. This was probably the key to his anointing and is the way forward for all of us if we want to be more and more like Jesus.
My guess is, when you can pray for your unrepentant enemies to be blessed – and mean it, it will be your finest hour.
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