‘People don't recover from locked-in syndrome. I’m a walking miracle’

As a boy, David Hazeldine regularly climbed a tree in the forest opposite his house to spend time alone, hearing from God. In his teens, he travelled with the late revivalist preacher, Rev Colin Urquhart, and saw all kinds of miracles and answers to prayer. “I had a raised expectation of what God could do,” said David, who had sensed a call to church leadership for as long as he could remember. 

But after completing his ordination as a Baptist minister and stepping into his own ministry, he became disappointed. 

David’s first appointment was to revitalise a dying church in Buckinghamshire. But, after leading the church for some time, he had not seen any growth. A competitive person with a ‘can do’ attitude, David says that when he could not fix his church, he grew disillusioned. “I was disgruntled and fed up,” David admits, “because I longed to see God do the great things I read about in the Bible.” 

Turning point

One morning in 2015, he found himself praying to leave the ministry. “I couldn’t believe I was saying this, because I’ve wanted to serve God my whole life,” says David. “Sometimes we have to reach a point of brutal honesty in order to unblock our feelings.

“My whole Christian life was completely thrown on its head when I realised I desperately needed God’s mercy. It had all been based around what I could achieve, and then I realised that was absolutely nothing in God’s sight.”

The revelation inspired a book about God’s mercy. It was weeks away from being published, when, on 2 November 2019, David suffered four strokes which left him totally paralysed.

Peace in devastation 

The strokes affected a critical part of David’s central nervous system leaving him with locked-in syndrome – a rare neurological condition that causes paralysis of almost all voluntary muscles, except for those that control eye movement. People with this condition, if they survive, are conscious and aware but cannot move or speak.

Before David had any idea of his condition, he heard a voice, telling him he was going to be OK as doctors brought him slowly out of sedation,

“I was totally and utterly calm,” says David. “People I’ve spoken to tell of absolute terror when you first wake up to discover you’re locked in – it’s the most horrifying experience you can imagine. You can’t move your hands, you can’t swallow, you can’t breathe – you can only blink.

Someone with a can-do attitude sometimes forgets they need God, but my body is a reminder of my total helplessness

“But the Lord told me I would be OK. His words were like a gushing river of peace to me.”

David was in intensive care for eleven days. His wife was told that he’d be “doing well” if he survived to exist in an institutionalised state, receiving 24/7 care every day for the rest of his life. 

However, against all odds, David’s condition stabilised. He lay rigid, day and night, hooked up to machines that allowed him to breathe and swallow. He could only communicate through an alphabet board, painstakingly blinking once for ‘yes’ and twice for ‘no’.

His wife visited daily, and they quickly became fluent with the device. “We communicated so much, I began not to feel locked in,” David says. “It was the one time I wanted her to finish my sentences!” Next came a long rehabilitation at the Royal Hospital for Neuro-disability in Putney, southwest London. Much of this took place during the Covid-19 lockdowns, meaning David couldn’t see his family for five long months. 

A miraculous recovery

Being totally paralysed was like eternally suffocating under rubble, he says: “You feel like a ton of bricks, because all your muscles have lost their strength. It’s taken me four years to lift my left hand.”

There was a moment when he wanted to “pull the plug” but the encouragement of another patient and his faith gave him purpose. “I began to understand Philippians 3, where Paul says: ‘I want to know Christ and his sufferings,’” he says. “The intimacy I have with Jesus now is greater than I had before.”

David’s lengthy hospitalisation caused him to reflect more deeply on his life and character, and he began to realise how God had used his strong desire for achievement to bring him to this point. “God made me competitive so I could face this rehab,” David explains. “I have a natural determination, and that’s not a bad thing – God is a determined God.

“But I had blind spots,” he continues. “[Someone with] a can-do attitude sometimes forgets they need God, but now my body is a reminder of my total helplessness.” 

David was discharged from hospital in August 2020, after taking a few steps for the first time in nearly a year. Now, he no longer needs a wheelchair and can walk with the help of a carbon fibre cast. He is independent around the house, although he still manages a number of disabilities and impairments in his left leg, balance, face and vision.

Medical professionals say his recovery is miraculous. “There are only 18 other people who have survived locked-in syndrome to my quality,” David says.

He has also finally published his book, The Majestic Meaning of Mercy (The Hazeldine Collection). “God led me here so I could be broken, to understand his mercy,” David explains. “In Genesis, God makes man out of soil to be utterly dependent on him, even for his breath. Now I can say I know what it’s like to have the breath of life breathed into me.”

New life, new ministry

David believes he has a prophetic call to prepare the way for a fresh understanding of mercy and repentance in the UK. “At one point in hospital, I came to see that I was to share his message of mercy. All the frustration that had built up through years of unfulfilling ministry just drained away.

“I’ve had a glorious miracle, and yet I struggle every day,” David says, “but I have a theology of faith that embraces suffering, and my suffering was for others as well – and that is perfectly right.”  

For more on David, and to purchase his books visit revdavidhazeldine.com