Oli London: I’ve rejected my trans identity to follow Jesus. Now I want to be baptised

I have struggled with identity issues, a lack of self-esteem and body dysmorphia since my teenage years. At school I was severely bullied for the way I looked, which led me on a drastic transformative journey to try and erase who I was and seek perfection – a goal I have now come to realise is unattainable.

For many years I was lost, confused and constantly undergoing plastic surgery in an attempt to find happiness. I have had 32 operations to change the way I look and, six months ago, I decided to take my most drastic step yet and transition from male to female. I had come to the conclusion that my identity issues were gender-related.

I underwent multiple facial feminisation surgeries, changed my entire wardrobe and had hair extensions fitted. After coming out as a trans woman I enjoyed the affirmation of my fans – many celebrated my new identity and commended me for being ‘stunning’ and ‘brave’.

I felt that maybe this was who I was meant to be – and yet, for some reason, I still didn’t feel happy inside. I was lost. I was confused. I needed guidance.

Finding Jesus

One day, I was taking a walk to clear my mind. It was a rainy Sunday morning and I saw people going into a nearby Catholic church. They were all so smartly dressed, smiling and chatting with one another as they filed into the medieval building. I paused for a brief moment and, as the last person filed through the open doors, I took a seat at the back.

I remember hearing the priest read powerfully from the Bible; his voice echoed through the room, followed by a chorus of hymns – it was an electrifying feeling. For the first time, I felt like I had found somewhere I belonged with people who would accept me for who I am.

After the service ended, as people were leaving, I remember how friendly and welcoming everyone was, with their warm smiles and kind eyes. The priest approached me and introduced himself and I thanked him for a wonderful service. We talked for a while about life and the teachings of Jesus, and he said I was welcome back any time. He offered me a Bible to read at home.

I went home and reflected deeply on this encounter. Everyone had been so welcoming and non-judgemental. It was a far cry from the usual places I spend my time – Twitter and TikTok where I am often bombarded with hate and judgment.

Following on from this enlightening experience, I started regularly attending church services several times a week and dropping into a nearby church to say a prayer and find focus for my day.

I also started reading the Bible at night and on days when I was feeling unhappy. I would read about the kindness of Jesus and how he was always non-judgemental. Probably the most beautiful example of his kindness was when he offered to wash a man suffering from leprosy (Matthew 8:1-4). The man was taken aback by Jesus’ offer because, for his whole life, he had been judged and shunned by society.

I identified with that man because I’ve always been shunned for the way I look and I have never felt accepted. Reading this story helped me come to the conclusion that perhaps I had wanted to become a trans woman due to my longing for self-acceptance.

The moment I decided to become male again and de-transition, I was cast out by the ‘trans lobby’ and demonised and degraded. I became a target for insults and hate.

My next goal is to get baptised and become fully Christian

Since finding faith, I have been reading Proverbs, which is all about being kind and spreading positive messages. I have always believed in being kind to people, and seeing the incredible work that Christians have done over the last 2,000 years has inspired me to now follow the teachings of Jesus and his disciples.

I am blessed to have a big platform and large audience around the world, so my mission is to use this platform to help spread the word of God. I want to help others and promote kindness. I also want to save children from being pushed into changing genders. We are all God’s creatures, we are all born with our own beauty, the way God intended us to be. We all need to learn to love ourselves and find self-acceptance.

My next goal is to get baptised. I would like to use my baptism to encourage my followers and audience to find God. I have reached out to some of America’s largest pastors, such as Kenneth Copeland and Franklin Graham, to have them baptise me in America and televise this to help millions of others find God.