Lead Like the Real You: A powerful guide for women in leadership

In Lead Like the Real You (Brazos Press), Amy Orr-Ewing masterfully crafts 43 letters to a fictional young woman named Jo, distilling profound wisdom from her years of ministry.

This book is unlike her previous titles, both in style and content. Orr-Ewing courageously admits “sharing this is not easy…and I have picked up some deep wounds along the way.” In articulating her pain, Orr-Ewing bravely explores challenges that many women throughout the Church will be able to relate to. Remarkably, given the seismic abuse of trust the author has navigated in recent years, the book remains hopeful, faith-filled and uplifting throughout. This is testament to the author’s steadfast faith - built upon years of diligent theological study, personal prayer and servant-hearted pastoring.

Amy Orr-Ewing is an in-demand, international speaker who has presented and debated the Christian faith in 40 countries for more than 25 years.  Every sentence written to Jo feels thoroughly considered and heartfelt, the mark of a book that has been in gestation for years, if not decades. As she looks to her future ministry, Orr-Ewing’s passion and sense of calling seem more alive than ever: “I pray I will be able to keep going until I die…”, which in itself is an encouragement for those wearied by church work. 

Orr-Ewing’s passion and sense of calling seem more alive than ever

Due to her wide-ranging experience, the letters on ‘Learning to Use Your Voice’ carry weight, as Orr-Ewing shares tips about the physicality of public speaking: “let the adrenaline come” - and the need to find reliable outfits which “show respect for the organisers or listeners.”

Mum to three teenage boys, the author speaks to the ‘Mum-guilt’ that many working women battle with. The letter ‘Parenting and Work’ is inherently permission-giving and encourages women to: “resist temptation to feel guilt for spending too much or too little time raising children, [and] focus instead on finding a God-given rhythm of work in the season of life you are in.” Unlike most of her readership, Orr-Ewing has spoken at the US Senate and to audiences of thousands, yet her style is relatable, her parenting ‘top tips’ do-able, and her admission that: “no-one gets this completely right” strikes a reassuring note.  

The section ‘Facing Chauvinism in Christian Spaces’ courageously addresses the female experience in many churches and Christian subcultures.  Orr-Ewing writes at her most confident here, and her convictions have evidently been refined and consolidated over time. Her unashamed femininity and encouragement to Jo (and us all) to fully embrace our bodies, giftings and voices can be rare in evangelical spaces and for many readers will be inspiring. With characteristic theological precision, she argues that churches need to work harder at becoming empowering spaces for women, not to placate secular feminist expectations but because of what the Bible teaches: “Genesis 1:27 tells us that human beings were created in the image of God ‘male and female’. The female body matters because it bears the image of God.” This exegetical work, which she takes time with in 1 Timothy 2 adds clout to the book and will be useful for women making the argument in local contexts as to why biblical headship should not translate into the subordination of women.

In recent times, Orr-Ewing has become a public advocate for victims of abuse and trauma in ministry contexts. This commitment to support victims is explored in letters where she discusses in detail her ‘experience of an abuse crisis’ when working for Ravi Zacharias International Ministries. This section is challenging to read, and no doubt was costly to write, but her challenge to Christians to not bury pain is important: “these darker periods should not and need not be written out of our faith story.” Orr-Ewing’s honesty will help many to identify and challenge patterns of toxic behaviour, such as gaslighting and exceptionalism in their contexts.  

Many of the letters extend beyond public speaking to offer broader leadership advice, and should be read in tandem with Orr-Ewing’s accompanying new venture – the Lead Podcast. Here she shares insights from her experience of working in a variety of male-dominated spaces and her comprehensive advice to Jo is of the sort any reader could return to when in need of a confidence boost. She advises women to “say yes to opportunities” and “flee from toxic set ups that will harm you, even if they may promise platform and opportunity.”

Despite the traumatic experiences Amy Orr-Ewing has navigated herself, and supported others through, her conviction that Jesus can heal our wounds remains as persistent as ever. She reminds us that our lives sit within God’s bigger story of redemption and that: “however dark the trauma or deep the disappointment, there is hope.”  

I suggest you buy two copies - one to gift to a woman you want to encourage and another for you to read and re-read when your leadership requires an injection of courage.

Lead Like the Read You by Amy Orr-Ewing is out now