Growing up, Brenna Blain attended the highly conservative Mars Hill Church in Seattle. She was sexually abused aged ten. In her teens, she struggled with same-sex attraction, trauma and mental health. She self-harmed, battled with eating disorders and tried to end her own life.
In Can I Say That?, Blain doesn’t try to tidy any of this up or sugarcoat it in Christian platitudes. Weaving memoir and theology, Blain uses her story to grapple with the hardest of questions: Can God hear me and does he care? If Jesus really conquered death, why do I still feel like this?
Today, she and her husband have two children, but she is clear that God has not ‘made’ her straight. She still struggles with same-sex attraction, bi-polar disorder and was hospitalised after attempting suicide even while writing this book. Hers is not a pretty story of a long-past struggle, but a visceral account of a very real working out of her faith with fear and lots of trembling.
Blain’s is a story for those who feel they do not fit the regular church mould. If you have struggled with loving God but not liking the Church very much; not knowing whether it’s OK to confess your darkest secrets or biggest fears; with anxiety, suicidal thoughts or same-sex attraction, this book is for you.
At the feet of Jesus, Blain found the safety, healing and freedom that she needed. And in a world that often views the Church as the least safe place for victims of abuse, those struggling with mental health or questions about their sexuality, we need to learn the lessons that Blain is so honestly trying to teach.
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