Pornographic model Lily Phillips, 23 captured international headlines last week when she released a documentary detailing how she slept with 100 men in 24 hours. She has since revealed plans to sleep with 1,000 men next month. In this open letter, Lois McLatchie-Miller tells Phillips she is of infinite worth and value, and God has created her for a much greater purpose
Dear Lily Phillips,
It must feel very confusing to be you right now.
On one hand, you have everything you thought you always wanted. You said that it gives you “serotonin” when people recognise you as “that sl*t from the internet”. Your notoriety abounds following your stunt, being penetrated by 100 men in 24 hours. Your fame has spread far beyond the craven corners of Only Fans.
But my heart broke for you and with you, Lily, when I saw you emerge from that filthy bedroom where you had sex with 100 men in a row. You burst into tears under the weight of what just happened. I don’t think you expected to cry. You scrambled for a reason to justify your tears – claiming concern that the boys hadn’t had a good enough experience. Was that really why?
Here’s why I think things might be confusing. Your story actually begins with somebody else. Unlike you, she was never born in the flesh. The “Cosmo Girl” popped onto the covers of glossy magazines in the 1960s, already mid-twenties and thriving. In contrast to the housewives of the decades past, she eschewed the traditional trappings of womanhood and morality for city glamour and hedonistic partying. Down with marriage and motherhood! In with girl-bossery! Her secret? The Cosmo Girl didn’t just want equality with man – she wanted to be The (stereotypical) Man – chasing pleasure with ultimate alpha energy. Work like a man. Speak like a man. Sleep around, commitment-free, like a man. That’s equality, right?
The Cosmo Girl has proliferated throughout the generations. Over time, a false idea of a woman’s reality started to become true in women’s lives. How many women sold their soul to walk a mile in Carrie Bradshaw’s shoes?
Fast forward to you.
You grew up in a society that guaranteed you that sleeping around is the ultimate expression of “freedom” and “female empowerment”. Consent is the only thing that matters, they said. You were told “my body, my choice”, and anyone who disagreed was shamed as being “judgmental”. You saw the potential fame and fortune in taking the Cosmo Girl model to Only Fans. You were told that sex is just for personal pleasure, and you can experience it just like any commitment-free man can.
If “love is love” - if consent is king - then why can’t you sleep with 100, 1,000, or even 1,000,000 men?
Lily, society has failed you with this lie. Here’s the thing – the Cosmo Girl never existed. She was made up by commercial magazine editors who idealised a new style of living in order to sell products for beauty, glamour, and sex. A journalist from Cosmopolitan magazine in the 1960s has told her whole story of how she propagandised the lies of the sexual revolution out of thin air.
Women don’t benefit from commitment-free sex – only the profit margins of such industries do. The charade is up. According to a study from Yale, women’s happiness has decreased in both absolute and relative terms to men over the decades since the explosion of the sexual revolution. Turns out commitment, love and stability might not be so bad for us after all.
No matter your personal beliefs – sex is a powerful, sacred act
But you bought in. You took the logic of sexual “liberalisation” as far as it could go. On paper, it should have been fine to be used by 100 guys, as long as you consented. But you knew in your heart when it was over that it wasn’t. You felt that wave of despair.
You wouldn’t have cried if you’d given 100 high-fives, or 100 hugs. But sex is different. No matter your personal beliefs – sex is a powerful, sacred act. Perhaps you cried because subconsciously, you know your body was violated - and no amount of consent can cover up the deep moral wrong that you just underwent.
But just as the voices of toxic feminism were whispering lies into your ear, let me dispel another lie too. The “red pill bros” are now telling you something equally destructive – that you’ve forever ruined yourself, and that there’s no coming back from this. They say you’re beyond reproach, and a useless wh*re.
This doesn’t define you, Lily.
Something far greater does.
You’re not an accident, and you’re not just a toy for men to use. You were created by the divine, and you have a purpose. That’s why misusing your own body was so violative. But that’s also why there is such great hope that you can heal from this.
Since Eve took that bite of the apple, we have all trampled upon our very value and nature, and destroyed our relationship with our creator. But that’s why God sent his son – to suffer the punishment for our sins, and to restore a relationship with his broken and wounded people. Tax-collectors. Thieves. Prostitutes. Broken people like you and me. The Bible says that absolutely nothing can separate us from the restorative God. Not even 100 guys.
Lily, you’ve said you’re going to scale up your stunt to 1,000 men in January. You don’t have to do this. How much more “empowered” could you be if you recognised your own worth? How wonderful could this story be if you exercise your right to change your mind, say “no”, and help 1,000 girls escape these lies?
You’re called to more. And we’re rooting for you to discover it.
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