The holy act of hand-holding

When was the last time you held someone’s hand?

This is question from someone whose love language is physical touch where I relish the physical contact of hugs, hand holding and closeness of loved ones but I know that not everyone feels the same way. Although, there seems to be something quite special about holding someone’s hand, even if you’re not a physical touch kind of person.

I remember this enjoyment starting for me when I was a teenager and had the responsibility of babysitting a toddler. She would climb up on to my lap and find comfort in holding my hand while we watched TV, or how I would hold my younger sister’s hand while crossing a busy road. This made me feel like an adult with great responsibility to take care of her in a potentially hazardous situation. Over the years of working in television and in children’s venues at summer camps and festivals I have had the privilege of holding hands with many children. Whether this was to help them on to play equipment, jump over puddles, guide them around shops or museums or even to dance with them, I always felt a great sense of trust as they let me guide them.

As a mother now, I find myself grabbing for my 8 year-old’s hand as we walk to school, cross the road or go up to bed. I still love it, but it’s different now as I have the parental responsibility of guiding her in that moment as she is my child and I want to keep her safe, comfort her and lead her in the right direction. Sometimes I’ve had to grab her hand tightly to spare her from danger or to divert her from stepping in something on the pavement which can cause temporary discomfort and alarm, but, this is always for her own good to keep her safe. These moments don’t always fill me with the same gushing feelings of physical touch, but once the adrenaline has passed the relief sets in that all is well and hand holding becomes a pleasure again.

If there is a hand you can hold today, reach out for it

My daughter told me how a new girl in her class, who doesn’t have English as her first language walked into school and reached out her hand to hold my daughter’s, which she obliged and walked her friend into the classroom. The hand hold even crosses language barriers.  

I spoke with a friend today who has felt real disconnect with her pre-teenage son lately. Like many of his counterparts he is often found under a hoody and involved in a screen. But today, she had a rare moment with him without distraction, just face to face with a milkshake. As they talked openly and honestly, he let her hold his hand for a moment and that small physical contact reconnected them in a new way. It was a restorative hand hold. It wasn’t to warn, or protect, comfort or direct. To me, it seems that the underlying meaning of all these types of hand holding are one thing, to love. To love in a moment of protection, to love in a moment of comfort, to love in a moment of directing and to love by restoring a relationship. All achieved by a simple hand hold.

I don’t know why I’m so surprised, as God models this to us throughout the Bible as he reassures Israel in Isaiah, “for I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, do not fear; I will help you.” (Isaiah 41:13). God loves a good reassuring hand hold, especially with the musician Asaph who was struggling to see others prosper in their professions when he was struggling in his (something a lot of us in the arts can relate to) - “Nevertheless I am continually with You; You have taken hold of my right hand.” Psalm 73:23 (AMP). We can find peace in the knowledge that we are forever safe in the hands of God as Jesus confirms that “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.” (John 10:28)

If there is a hand you can hold today, reach out for it. If there isn’t, rest assured that you are held in our heavenly father’s loving hand.