Should your church be a ‘safe space’?

You’ve probably heard the phrase ‘safe space’, but what do you think it means?

Originally, it was a way of recognising that there are some groups of people who are vulnerable to aggression and need a space where they can talk and share without fear. This is a good thing. If we are simply talking about a place or situation in which you are protected from harm or danger and where you can feel confident you will not be exposed to discrimination or harassment, I think we would all want that. 

However, these are not the only definitions of a safe space. Merriam-Webster’s definition refers to “a place (as on a college campus) intended to be free of bias, conflict, criticism, or potentially threatening actions, ideas, or conversations”.

This last definition has proved a lot more problematic, especially when it has been adopted in places of learning – typically schools and universities. But it also causes problems when discussing things that we disagree over in the Church. 

Places of learning (and I include the Church here) cannot and should not promise to be free of: “bias, conflict, criticism, or potentially threatening…ideas, or conversations”. This is not what education, or learning about our faith, is all about. 

In 2019, a critical discussion about safe spaces was published in the journal Intercultural Education. Interestingly, the subject that created a problem for the idea of a safe space was religious education. On the one hand, when discussing matters of faith, educational institutions want to ensure students can express their ideas without “discrimination, harassment, hatred and threats”, which is essential. On the other hand, it means all students will be exposed to a multitude of ideas they might disagree with! 

When discussing this conundrum, one scholar argued that all people should be treated with dignity and respect, with no one treated as inferior to anyone else. He goes on, however, to note that the dignity of human beings doesn’t mean we never encounter facts, ideas or opinions that we find wrong or offensive. On the contrary, he writes that: “good education requires teaching that makes students intellectually unsafe”. In other words, learning means engaging with ideas that are different from the ones we already hold.

Hard conversations 

Learning about our faith, whether in a theological college, small group or as part of a worshipping community, will mean exploring, discussing, probing, critiquing and questioning. We need to learn to engage with, not run away from, difficult texts in the Bible, difficult periods of Church history, complex perspectives on the nature of God and ideas we disagree with. 

Engaging with people who think differently from us is part of life and forms us in important ways

Every space we walk into – whether in the workplace, social groups or the classroom – is crammed full of bias. And we all come with biases, prejudices and ideas that we feel we need to defend. Moreover, with questions of faith, we’re heavily invested in these ideas. They’re personal and precious. We can’t learn without “bias, conflict, criticism, or potentially threatening…ideas, or conversations”. 

We certainly won’t be equipped for a world that is far from ‘safe’ unless we learn first in the theological classroom and the Church. Engaging with people who think differently from us is part of life and forms us in important ways. Sometimes it confirms our ideas and sometimes we change our minds.  

Brave spaces

Learning about our faith might feel like conflict. It might feel like criticism. It might feel like a potentially threatening idea or conversation. For this reason, the authors of the Intercultural Education article advocate two things. First, instead of a ‘safe space’, we need to think in terms of a ‘brave space’. I love this because it describes exactly what it means to discuss ideas with people we know see things differently from us. Secondly, they make the point that if we’re going to create brave spaces, there need to be ground rules that everyone signs up to in order to be safe and brave. 

For Christians this is brilliant, because we already know the ground rules and they’re really good. The people of God know how to treat people who are like them and unlike them – with the loving character of Jesus and the fruit of the Spirit. 

Especially relevant for creating brave spaces are the fruit of kindness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Kindness is essential when discussing difficult topics. It’s so much easier to speak about things that matter to us if the person listening is kind. Gentleness is a powerful force to bring calm, peace and healing. Paul sees gentleness as an essential characteristic of leadership (1 Timothy 3:3; 6:11). Self-control means restraint, soundness, moderation. Again, this is so important if we’re conducting discussions where we disagree. 

We must ensure that spaces are free from discrimination, harassment or any other form of emotional or physical harm. But we also need brave spaces where we can talk, listen, learn and hear why people hold views that are different from ours. 

For this we will need to commit to kindness, gentleness and self-control. Out of this, we will cultivate listening, humility, respect and intelligence (both mental and emotional). And this, I believe, will create the truly brave, safe and creative spaces that are much needed today.